Limerence OCD - Obsessing Over Someone

There isn’t a whole lot of talk about limerance in the OCD world and I wanted to take a second to speak about it given it doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Dorothy Tennov, psychologist, used the term limerence when conducting her qualitative experiments to describe a particular manifestation of ‘being in love’ with someone in a way that was overwhelming, involutory and brought a long yearning for a person's attention and regard (Wynant 2021). When it comes to OCD, limerence doesn’t have to be towards a person, but it could be towards an object as well. The individual is described as feeling a particular attraction towards the object or person. The uncertainty comes from not knowing if the person or object is willing to reciprocate (Wynant 2021).

Brandy Wyant’s case study, Treatment of Limerence Using a Cognitive Behavioural Approach, outlines several rituals that an OCD sufferer would experience if they struggled with limerence. Some include engaging in rituals that interfere with their other responsibilities, constantly looking at photos of the object or person, engaging in repeated acts of continuing a conversation with the person, mentally replaying events or situations with the person or object, and searching for an indication about how the limerent object may feel. Many people often feel quite distressed and describe the experience as quite anxiety-provoking.

Withdrawal from the limerent object may even occur as separation occurs. This may be accompanied by pains in the chest, abdominal disturbances, sleep disturbances, irritability and depression.

There is little information and research regarding treating limerence, however, we do have a working understanding based on the work of Tennov. Most notably, exposure and response prevention has demonstrated effectiveness when working with patients who struggle with anxiety and OCD. In the case of limerence, the feared situation that would be worked on would be separation or rejection from the limerent object.

How We Treat OCD related Limerence

- Assessment of Rituals and Avoidance Behaviours

- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Specific for OCD

o Cognitive Restructuring – Work on cognitive restructuring

o Behavioural Activation - the goal is to develop a more adaptative habit and develop a sense of mastery over the OCD symptoms.

- Exposure and Response Prevention

Wyant, B. E. (2021). Treatment of limerence using a cognitive behavioural approach: a case study. Journal of patient experience, 8, 23743735211060812.