Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

 Relationship OCD, is not a formal term used in the medical/psychological community. The term has more so recently popped up on online forums and is used to describe the obsessive feeling an individual would experience when questioning their relationship or attractiveness of their partner. More so specifically, it’s the obsessive-compulsive symptoms that focus on close or intimate relationships. These types of obsessions occur in many forms including parent-child, supervisor-student, or with religious figures. The most common sub-type is where suffers question their partner’s suitability of the relationship (how strong their feelings are towards their partner, or the ‘rightness’ of the relationship). Also, some people may also focus on their partner’s flaws and focus on their perceived deficits (e.g., not being attractive enough or smart enough).

Thoughts of suffers with relationship obsessive compulsive disorder may have thoughts that include, ‘is he the one,’ or ‘are they pretty enough.’ Preoccupation with urges may also make suffers experience interpersonal difficulties. These urges and problematic behaviour could include wanting to leave one’s partner, checking to see if they are attracted to other people or refraining from watching romantic movies. Repeated checking of ones feelings can also be disabling and time consuming. Of course, throughout treatment, we attempt to identify neutralizing behaviours that may also suppress thoughts. Relationship obsessive compulsive disorder sufferers will report sustaining positive thoughts or visualizing their partner happy.  

Self-worth in Relationship OCD

Research by Doren and Kyrios (2005) argue that existing vulnerabilities with self-worth may influence an individual to fear losing their partner, which will likely influence their OCD behaviour. These people report hypervigilance around any slight relationship concern, as these become ‘red-flags’ that their partner may leave. Other variables that may influence a suffers self-esteem are attachment vulnerabilities (not having any secure relationships, beyond that of their partner).

For those who partner-focused obsessive compulsive disorder, self-esteem levels have been found to be more susceptible to thoughts that threaten the positive views of their partner, “she’s not attractive compared to others.”

Living With Uncertainty With Your Loved One

Like all other suffers of obsessive compulsive disorders, people who experience difficulties with relationship obsessive compulsive disorder, experience difficulties tolerating uncertainty. They also give more importance to their thoughts and their control over their mind/body. Learning to live with uncertainty, becomes an important lesson to be learned for obsessive compulsive disorder suffers. Many suffers describe having particular beliefs regarding the potential negative consequences of their relationship. They also describing having unrealistic perceptions regarding the relationship experience, which can further influence the maintenance of the obsessive compulsive disorder thinking.

Romantic beliefs  that are unrealistic or extreme (e.g., relationships should feel always feel great) can also influence the misinterpretation of relationship events. ROCD clients can also describe needing to feel a euphoric around their partner and are less tolerable to times when it’s not (e.g., If I’m not happy right now, then it’s not true love). (Doren, Derby 2014).

Insecurities with other people in their social circle (primarily their parents) can also play a role in maintaining the maladaptive intrusions.